Attachment Theory

Learning about attachment theory helps us break unhealthy patterns and create safer relationships. Understanding your attachment style reveals how early relational bonds influence the way we relate, whether through fear of intimacy, avoidance, or trust.

Attachment Theory Briefly Described

Attachment theory was developed by British psychologist John Bowlby in 1969 through observations of interactions between infants and their mothers. Bowlby called the significant bond between caregivers and infants the attachment bond. He observed different behavioral patterns in how infants maintain this connection with caregivers.

In 1978, Mary Ainsworth and her team conducted experiments to study what happens when infants were temporarily separated from their mothers. These experiments identified three main types of attachment:

• Secure attachment: Infants recovered quickly from distress, suggesting a sense of trust and safety with their mothers. This corresponds with a positive sense of self and others.
• Avoidant attachment: Infants showed little reaction to separation and avoided contact at reunion. These infants often had caregivers who were unresponsive to emotional needs. This corresponds with a positive sense of self and negative sense of others.
• Anxious attachment: Infants were clingy and highly distressed during separation and took the longest to calm after their mother returned. This was linked to inconsistent caregiver responsiveness to the infant. This corresponds with a positive sense of others and negative sense of self.

Later studies introduced a fourth type:

• Fearful-avoidant attachment: Infants showed both a desire for and fear of their caregiver. This was associated with traumatic or abusive experiences. This corresponds with a negative sense of self and others.

Attachment theory has expanded to include bonds with any caregivers, not just mothers. According to Bowlby, the attachment system is active over an individual's entire lifespan. It has also been widely applied to understand adult romantic relationships. Although early attachment styles influence future relationships, they can change over time and with new experiences.

Although attachment styles exist on a spectrum, securely attached individuals can be said to be more capable of the following traits (Barnett, 2024):

• Happy both independently and in relationships
• Confident that support will be available when needed
• Trusting of caring others in times of distress
• Clear and direct during moments of vulnerability
• A strong sense of self and others
• Able to see people their whole person, acknowledging both their strengths and limitations
• Easily trusts and is trustworthy
• Accepts love and closeness with ease
• Interdependent in relationships
• Aware of their emotional life
• Expresses emotions in a clear and balanced way
• Helps repair relationships after conflict

Attachment in Psychotherapy

Research has shown that a secure attachment style may be linked to better health outcomes. While insecure attachment styles may lead to challenges, they can be adaptive in situations involving threat or risk. It is not always feasible or practical to interact with everyone in life in a securely attached way, because insecure attachment styles can function as adaptive survival strategies.

Psychotherapy can contribute to supporting a person in developing a more secure attachment style and in building more securely attached relationships with others. Psychotherapy has not always been informed by attachment theory. The development of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) by British-born Canadian clinical psychologist Dr. Susan Johnson was a significant development in applying attachment therapy to psychotherapy. EFT makes use of attachment theory to improve relationships and emotional well-being. It has been used in couples, family, and individual therapies.

Attachment and Christian Spirituality

Since Christian theology emphasizes a relational God, some Christians have used attachment theory to explore how people relate to God. This has become an area of significant interest and research for Christians. While Dr. Susan Johnson has not identified as a Christian, she was educated in Catholic school and has credited her knowledge of the stories of Jesus in the Gospels as representative of secure attachment. In her book Love Sense, she cites the Christian hymn "Abide with Me" as closely related to her idea of secure attachment. She also co-wrote a Christian version of her couples book with a Christian therapist, Created for Connection: The "Hold Me Tight" Guide for Christian Couples, showing how the approach to couples therapy can align with Christian values. Through my training at a local Christian seminary and clinical work with Christian clients, I've found that attachment theory can be an effective tool for psychotherapy. There are other Christian psychotherapists who use attachment theory and Emotionally Focused Therapy, finding these approaches both effective and compatible with Christian faith.

References

• Barnett, M. (2024). The emotionally focused therapy workbook for addiction: How to heal the loneliness and shame that trigger addictive behaviors. New Harbinger Publications.
• Johnson, S. (2013). Love sense: The revolutionary new science of romantic relationships. Little, Brown Spark.
• Johnson, S., & Sanderfer, K. (2016). Created for connection: The "Hold me tight" guide for Christian couples. Little, Brown Spark.